Roast-A-Mate™ — roast a mate, any mate

workmate · housemate · bestmate · soulmate · teammate · flatmate · classmate · cellmate · checkmate … even a primate

Pay £5. Upload your mate. The Tribunal handles the rest — an AI-animated courtroom roast, posted for the world (or delivered in private, coward's option).

I. The Accused

Full name of the accused * Their town (for the charge sheet) Photograph of the accused *

Tap to upload a clear photo of their face (JPG/PNG, max 8MB)

One clear adult face, ideally looking at the camera. The Tribunal converts it to a cartoon — the real photo appears only as "the only known photograph of the accused". We delete uploads after delivery.

Their socials — so the verdict finds them (optional)

II. The Charges

Tick every crime that applies. Petty is the point.

Has never once bought a round Late to absolutely everything Googles the pub quiz answers Arm paralysis when the bill arrives Can't hold a chat without their phone Raids everyone's leftovers Blames "lag" for every defeat Parks like the lines are a suggestion Reads every message, replies to none

Additional evidence (optional, 280 chars)

Keep it petty and true-ish. Our moderators strip anything genuinely nasty — no real accusations, no exes, nothing about jobs, looks or anything that would actually hurt. If the whole order is too spicy, you get a refund, not a video.

III. The Sentence

Art style

Cartoon (3D animated) — more styles soon

Length of proceedings

Standard — 30 seconds — £5 Extended — 60 seconds — £8

Delivery of the verdict

Public premiere — posted on our TikTok/FB/YouTube, mate tagged Private — video sent only to you

IV. The Paperwork

Your name * Your email (for the verdict) * Founders' access code

The Tribunal is in pre-launch session. Public opening soon — no code, no case, for now.